Dan and I joined his black friend, Austin, in looking at an apartment the other evening. It was actually just a very small ROOM, with its own entrance, part of someone's house. All I could think of, when I looked at it was, "Where's the rest of it?" I know Austin doesn't need much, it's just for himself, but once he puts in a sofa bed (or loveseat, which is about all that will fit), there will be room for nothing else! It has a bathroom with a shower, a closet and the room itself looks like it measures 10X12, if that. How can anyone LIVE in that?

The young woman who showed us the apartment was outgoing and extremely likable. Even though she had a sister who lived much closer, she was enlisted to show Austin the room, and she had to drive from Fort Salonga, much further away. She has a three year old son, a child she waited many years after getting married to have. She led the life of a rich working wife for years (drove a Porche and had the best clothes and shoes), then gave it up so she could stay home with her little baby boy. Now she's debating having a second child, but mainly because she's so close to her own two sisters and everyone expects her to have a sibling for him. I told her to make sure having a second baby is something SHE wants to do, but if I were in her position, being able to stay home with my kids, I'd have another baby in a second!

One great thing about the property was the fruit trees scattered around. The gal invited me to take some peaches, so I put a bunch in the plastic bag she gave me. Unfortunately, many had fallen to the ground to rot, and those left on the trees were bug-infested, but I found some beauties to take home.

Austin, excited, decided he wanted to take the apartment. For $650 monthly, it includes everything, including Cable TV and all utilities, but I still think he's going to go stir-crazy in that tiny room! I know I would!

We stopped at the mall for some fast food at Wendy's, I had chili and a side salad. I'm TRYING to lose a little weight for when I go to Vancouver to meet Jensen and Jared; I hope not to be too blimpy if I am fortunate enough to meet them.

Saturday, Scott Berg, Dan (and now Brad's) chiropractor, had his annual brunch/BBQ, so we stopped by there for bagels, followed by a burger (for me) and a burger, hot dog and sausage for Dan. There were also sugary pastries, muffins, coffee and soda (which was NOT in keeping with my weight loss efforts).

After stuffing ourselves, we stopped at Borders books to pick up the SUPERNATURAL BOOK OF DEMONS, GHOULS, etc., which had just come out, and for which I had a 20% off coupon. I had contacted the store earlier via e-mail, and had been assured the book was in stock and would be awaiting me--but it wasn't. I had to wait around quite a while before it was located, leaving Dan cooling his heels in the car, but find it they did and they gave me some free coffee coupons to make me feel better.

We stopped at the house to pick up my MP3 player, which I'd forgotten, then we went to the gym for an hour or so. Felt good to get some solid exercise.

The evening saw us taking Brad and Ali out to a diner for dinner. She didn't seem happy with her meal, even though she'd ordered the most expensive special on the menu, but I tried not to get angry or annoyed with her. Brad has chosen a high-maintenance girl, and if he can keep her happy, more power to him!

Yesterday, Dan and I took Brad out to breakfast at Sizzler, a rarity. He took his own car so he could leave for his gym right after eating. I'm pleased to note Brad ate very healthily. I can't say the same about me; I gobbled up a lot of heavy carbs because I just wanted them.

I stopped at Wal-Mart and tried on 10 pairs of sneakers, trying to find a new pair to take to Vancouver, but none of them felt comfortable enough. So with the vacation hurtling at me like a freight train, I once again have a million things left to do.

I napped from 12-4 yesterday, pissed at myself for sleeping half the day away. then I had to go food shopping at Met Food, so Dan went to the five and dime store to find Jewish New Year cards for Ali's parents (they sent us a gorgeous pre-printed one) and the cousins Levine. He wasn't able to find the right one, and, in a pinch, bought one "to our daughter and her family." Given that Ali isn't yet married to our son, I tried to explain to Dan that the card was completely inappropriate, but he figured it would be OK. I guess we were trying to buy one kind of late in the day, since the holiday is this week.

Sigh!

My asshole next door neighbor, Gary, was shooting off fireworks with his own kids and others on the block yesterday evening. The noise nothered the dogs and me; I despise the loud noise firecrackers make. It's not July 4th, either, so why does he have to do that? I really am growing tempted to call the cops on him, but Mike Alterman, who visited us yesterday, insists it will only foster poor neighborly relations. Like I can hate them more than I already do?

Dan, Mike and I went to a Mexican restaurant last night for dinner. The food was pretty good, but Mike tried to talk Dan into having sangria with him, and I told Dan ahead of time, no sangria. Just because Mike likes to drink all the time doesn't mean Dan needs to join him. They both are too fat to be adding booze to their bellies!
Did that sound mean? I guess I'm in a pissy mood!

Last night, I slept horribly. I guess it didn't help that I'd gotten that four hour nap in, but I really was tired. Dan's snoring didn't help, but I know he didn't mean to keep me awake.

I am scared about what's going to transpire in Vancouver, but I have lots to do before then, and really need to get on the stick!

Love, Robin

Monday was like a repeat Saturday to Dan and me; we went to the breakfast buffet at Old Country, then to the gym for a workout. Afterwards, Dan suggested we visit Fence Lane, Levittown, the old neighborhood where we used to live. I figured it would be a short stop, but it wasn't. Actually, it was kind of nice. When we pulled up, I saw Pat working in her garden. She's miraculously still married to Mike. We had a lot of trouble with him. He left his beautiful dog, Tanya, out barking right under our bedroom window one night, without food or water, keeping us up just as we were leaving on vacation. We called the police. Mike was so furious, he leaped over our fence, breaking off the top of the split rail. Turns out everyone on the block has had problems with Mike, mostly because he's a drunk, and few speak to him anymore.

Pat was sweet and soft-spoken. I always liked her, but Mike kept us from being friends. She has insulin dependent diabetes, too, as did Charlie, a terrific guy who helped us do some stuff around our house (and helped me when we had a terrible flood in our living room one winter day). Charlie died years back, and his son owns the house where he used to live.

Getting back to Pat, Mike was so jealous when we had a baby boy (he had two daughters), he probably forced a third pregnancy on Pat, who did produce a son (named Mike, of course), but he turned out to be a juvenile delinquent, causing many criminal woes amongst the residents of Fence Lane. Brad and Mikey were starting to be friends when we left the block, and I sometimes wonder--would they have influenced each other? And which would have dominated? Might Mikey have been better off had we stayed? Or Brad worse off? Interesting, hm? Both of Pat's daughters are married, one just miscarried, and Mikey is in a band, something that obviously does NOT please Pat.

We saw a car pulling into Laura Gumo's driveway and said a hasty goodbye to Pat so we could greet Trish and Joanne, Laura's daughters. They were both delighted to see us. Laura, now 90, had just undergone several surgeries. Her husband, Joe, also an insulin dependent diabetic, died a couple of years ago. Laura was a motherly, sweet, wonderful woman, and Dan and I were thrilled to see her. She's lost a great deal of weight. The family adopted a cocker spaniel named Mushroom, a adorable dog with a wonderful disposition who kept walking around the kitchen collecting pets from everyone. Dan decided to play Mr. Fixit man on Joanne's laptop, so we ended up hanging out there over an hour and a half, hearing all the block gossip, drinking coffee, telling them about Brad, the Teacher (and yes, I did brag to Pat, too, about that), basking in the pleasure of reminiscing with people from our past who liked us. When Dan was finished with her computer, Joanne invited us out to lunch, but we had really just eaten breakfast, and really weren't hungry, so we said goodbye and went to the gym.

You know, I compare our current neighbor situation with the mostly wonderful people on Fence Lane who rallied around us when my mother died unexpectedly in 1983 and everyone brought over lovely gifts for Brad and helped us through that difficult time. The homemade eggnog we enjoyed at Laura's, the visits to Charlie's house at Christmas, the housewarming everyone attended when we first moved in and welcomed us. I remember writing a story about a neighbor titled "Evelyn, Enchanting Septuagenarian," published in SENIOR NEWS. I gave her the money I made for it because she needed it more than I did. She died shortly thereafter of pancreatic cancer. She was a feisty lady and I admired her.

The people who live near us now? Bleh. They mostly suck. They don't care. I don't like Gary and Susan because they're just not warm. Their children are sneaky and creepy little brats. Kevin and Karen across the street show promise. Terry and her three boys, not so much. I just don't get the same good feeling from these people as I did the group on Fence Lane, that they will help you in a pinch, as we would gladly reciprocate.

It's a sad commentary on the world today, isn't it?

Yesterday was a bad return to work. When I went out to my car, it wouldn't start. Dan drove us to Marchon, then I took his car to work, getting there five minutes late. I HATE being late!!! It made the whole day suck.

There was tons of work for me to do, and that set me on edge even more.

I got home, called GEICO for an on-road service call. They promised me someone in an hour. Two and a half hours later, the tow truck showed up, driven by Bob Muto a fellow postal employee! LMAO! I was going to tear him a new one, but how could I? I was hoping to get the car fixed last night, but Willie's was closed by then. Bobby gave the battery a jump, it started right up, I drove to Willie's and left the car there.

Which meant Dan had to again sacrifice his car to me today and as it turned out, THE CAR IS FINE! It doesn't need a new battery, at least not yet! So all we needed to do was jump the fucking battery and it would have been fine!

Shit.

I'm worried about me, and I'll tell you why. I'm going to Vancouver on September 22. I will be there from Saturday to Saturday, seeking to meet Jensen and Jared. If I don't, I might go crazy. And knowing my poor luck, I might not and I might go crazy. That won't be good.

Let's hope for the best, shall we?

Love, Robin

We had SUCH a wonderful trip! Of course, the main attraction on this, as on any cruise, was gorging ourselves with three meals plus snacks, but I told Dan that if we were going to eat like pigs, we had to exercise daily. So after breakfast every day, we went to the gym and put in at least half an hour on the treadmills. I tried using the rowing machines, but found the sensations of the rocking ship plus the rowing made me a bit queasy, so I stuck with the treadmill instead. In doing that, I didn't gain even one pound, I'm proud to say, and I ate heartily, indulged in evil desserts with lunch and dinner, and had ice cream for more than one afternoon snack.

They had wonderful shows--a Beatles retrospective, a dedication to Motown music (and we thought we actually saw Stevie Wonder, but it was only a cruel joke on the audience), and a decades look at music from the 20's to the 60's. The shows were elaborate, with a full orchestra, moving sets, bright costumes, excellent singing--all very enjoyable.

On the last night, we were entertained by people from the ship posing as such noted singers as Frank Sinatra, Madonna, Britany Spears, Aretha Franklin, Elvis, Elton John, Sonny and Cher, Ricky Martin and others. Some were great, others terrible, a few hilarious, but all entertaining. The gal who sang Madonna was black, wearing a poorly fitting blond wig, and the male dancers accompanying her were performing some very dirty dance moves that had me choking on laughter.

I participated in a game of Match Game that turned out absolutely hilarious. I was on team 2. We matched enough answers to tie with team 3, but team 1 managed to match no points at all because they had one doofus on their team who answered "Who's your ______?" His reply? Accountant? Who's your accountant?? The rest of us, of course, answered Daddy! I blew one answer: ________ chocolate. My teammates replied hot and I answered dark. Oh, well. We still came in on a tie with team 3 and got medallions to wear around our necks plus points for the color war blue team, of which Dan and I were members.

There were many games of trivia, and the best was one in which they played the theme songs to familiar TV shows from the 70's and 80's. We got 24 out of 27, but those who claimed they got 27, I suspect, cheated, because they allowed us to grade our own answers. It was a lot of fun!

While aboard the Carnival Miracle cruise ship, I ended up missing two episodes of SUPERNATURAL, to my dismay, because the on-board Colorado channels we got included FOX but not the CW. However, the show was never far from my thoughts. I wore my WATCH SUPERNATURAL t-shirt the day I boarded the ship, and it was seen by thousands getting on with me I brought along NEVERMORE, the SPN novel, which I hadn't had time to read at home, read and finished it in THE RAVEN, the ship's library (perfect, right)?) I loved every single page! While the book wasn't as pure or exciting as I would have liked, I highly recommend it to all fans of the show.

Sam, Dean, Jensen and Jared were constantly in my head, usually in my favorite fantasy sexual positions, every time I exercised on the treadmill in the gym, which I did every day after breakfast while listening to my favorite tunes. I had to--you eat like a pig on a cruise and MUST work it off. When I opened my eyes and saw the ocean, I smiled, enjoying the gorgeous view.

There was the mother yelling, "Jared, come back here!" to her running son, who had a mop of dark brown hair.

I bypassed shipboard entertainment to watch the TEEN CHOICE AWARDS and was thrilled to see tall, gorgeous Jared presenting one of those silly surfboards to HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL, yelling "I love you, too!" to some fan in the audience. I waited for the presentation of the best dramatic actor award, and was disappointed when they were not forthcoming.

Our cabin steward left us animals made of towels, lobsters or dogs, usually on the bed. In one instance, however, he HUNG one from the curtain rod! When I entered our room, the first vision I flashed on was of Dean, a prisoner of the Djinn, arms tied above his head! I remember thinking, SUPERNATURAL is stuck tight in my brain!

I attended two art auctions aboard the ship. When my husband and I saw they were selling several Thomas Kinkade paintings (the character our Jared will shortly be portraying in CHRISTMAS COTTAGE), I asked Dan if I could bid on two that especially appealed to me, both of which had dogs in them. He said if they didn't go beyond a certain cost, yes. We agreed on the top price we would pay, and attended the auctions. Fortunately, we were the only bidders on both paintings, so we got them on the opening, reasonable, bids. Most of the other Kinkades went for a LOT more. I was grateful the ones I wanted weren't bid up beyond our means. I will own two Kinkade paintings, something I've always wanted! And now will always connect him with Jared, which is a bonus!

I had my special SUPERNATURAL t-shirt cleaned by the ship so I could wear it on my last day. In the dining room, at breakfast, one of the waiters read it aloud, and LOUDLY, "WATCH SUPERNATURAL, 9 PM THURSDAY, CW 11, IT'S THE BEST!" He said it so comically, and phoenetically, I suspect he had no idea what it meant, but he said it with enthusiasm nevertheless, and it seemed a perfect way to end my perfect cruise!

Love, Robin

I felt elated when I was talking to Tracey yesterday. That's the only way to describe the euphoria rippling through me as I described the t-shirt I had made and how excited I was about resurrecting my plans to go to Vancouver. She was astonished about my devotion to SUPERNATURAL, but I sensed an undercurrent of "why is she so attached to a TV show instead of her husband?"

That's my pattern, though. It's always been a TV show with me, never people. Humans let me down in one way or another, and if a TV show does, it's not the show's fault, but the PEOPLE behind it--those who don't watch it and keep up the ratings and the asshole suits who cancel it. I never thought about it that way before, but really, that's how I get around the fact that PEOPLE are ultimately behind the fate of TV shows, and thus my fate.

But now I have something to look forward to, you see--the cruise and the trip to Vancouver. Right now it looks like I'm only going to be scheduling a plane trip, while Chris will be finding us a reasonably priced hotel to split three ways. Since we're renting a car, too, we're trying to keep expenses down as much as possible.

Here's an interesting tidbit--I told Dan I had a surprise for him I was saving for the ship. Somehow, he twisted that around and thought it meant I had something to TALK about with him on the boat, and claims he lost two nights of sleep worrying over it. I told him it wasn't anything bad (actually, I was thinking of surprising him with oral sex), and now I'm wondering what he's feeling guilty about that he apparently thinks he deserves whatever I was going to chastise him about on the ship! Did he believe I was going to break up with him, end our marriage? What is he hiding? Is he cheating on me, more than just on the internet? I'm beginning to smell a very stinky rat here, and I suddenly wonder WHY DOES HE FEEL GUILTY?

Perhaps my idea about cutting him loose after Brad is out of the house isn't such a bad one after all.

Anyway, I am looking forward to the cruise. If Dan is misbehaving, let him stew in his own guilt. Maybe that's why he's gaining so much weight; it's GUILT WEIGHT! He's overeating because he's cheating on me and that's how he's punishing himself! Yet he claims he loves me. Yet he knows how I feel about infidelity. The only place I've ever been unfaithful to him is in my mind.

I guess time will reveal the answer to this mystery. I've wondered about it for a while now. We used to meet once a week at the gym after work, now we go once together on the weekend. He's always so tired. Why? Is he getting laid at work? Before work? After work?

In the meantime, I don't want anything to mess with this happy little buzz I've got going on. I haven't been bursting into tears for no reason at all, and that is fantastic. My brain is still a bit addled, yes, but I think that's mostly just me, with a little peri-men thrown in.

Gotta go!

Love, Robin

Dan and I took the train into New York City Saturday. It was such a gorgeous day, not humid, sunny and hot. We had the Old Country brunch first, which tired us out so much, we returned home for a nap and missed the first train we planned to catch. We left around one PM and got to the city around two. We stopped at Dan's favorite tacky Greek restaurant for a late lunch, directly across the street from Madison Square Garden. Dan asked at a Penn Station information booth about the right subway to take to get to the ABC studio, and a few subway stops later, I was waiting on line to take the test, talking to a lady from Valley Stream.

They ushered us into the ABC cafeteria, adorned with posters of shows like UGLY BETTY and DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES. A guard rifled through our pocketbooks for guns and knives, then we went through a metal detector. We sat at tables. A girl tossed three t-shirts out, one directly to me, but the Valley Stream bitch grabbed it right out of my grip. Not wanting to cause a scene, I let her keep it. I was to have my revenge, heh heh heh!

They invited Dan in to take the test, too, and I was relived that he didn't have to wait out in the hot sun for me.

The test consisted of 30 questions about TV shows past and present, and it was not easy. The first question was about THE OFFICE, which I don't even watch--and it's not an ABC show! I took a guess, and I think I got it right. I was to take guesses on a few, like one about DUKES OF HAZZARD, another show I never watched. Generally speaking, I was certain of several answers, and hoped I'd guessed right on plenty of others.

They called the test numbers of those who had passed. Only about eight out of the entire room had done so. Ms. Valley Stream didn't, the t-shirt stealing bitch! My number was 85, and I PASSED! They snapped my picture with a Polaroid camera and we sat and waited for a quick interview. The gal who spoke to me was 20 if she was a day, and I made it my business to be bouncy and personable. I told her about my viewing habits and we discussed my answers on the sheet I'd filled out, and soon I was slapping five with Dan outside.

We took the subway back to Penn and caught the 5:02 train home. Dan and Mike went to see THE SIMPSONS MOVIE and I worked on the computer, adding more songs to my Ipod and doing the usual SUPERNATURAL surfing.

Yesterday, I had a t-shirt made up at the flea market in Levittown. Instead of describing it to you, I'll just direct you to a picture of it--and me!

http://img4.shareavenue.com/image.php?file=1cb005ce465ec536036ceb6b3d13d29770f5cbfc

This was my idea over this weekend. Since I have this giant rack available, why not use it to get more viewers for SUPERNATURAL? Everyone is always staring at my oversized hooters anyway, so why not urge them to watch the show and tell them when and where it's on? As long as they're staring anyway, why not give them a billboard for my favorite show?

We started off the day with breakfast at the buffet again, then ran around doing errands. We ordered my embroidered t-shirt ($30) from flea market, got pickles from the Pickle People at the street fair in town, shopped for a few items at Met Food, then returned home. I took a nap, woke up, then drove to Levittown to pick up my t-shirt. While Brad went to a barbecue at Ali's, Dan and I had dinner at Giovanni's and ice cream at the Creamery.

It was a really busy weekend, but I am SO proud of myself for passing the test for Millionaire. I most likely won't be picked to go on the show, but just getting this far was fun. It's always nice to do something DIFFERENT, you know?

Love, Robin