Tomorrow is Thanksgiving! What do I have to be thankful for? We paid off our mortgage. I have a brand-new, beautiful car. My son is doing very well in his teaching career, even if he has to work his ass off as he tries to get tenure. I have my health, or at least enough of it to wake up every day. I met Jensen and Jared, and SUPERNATURAL is still on the air. Steve and Pat are doing well and even though I never hear from them, I assume my cousins are, too, or I guess I WOULD hear from them!

What don't I have to be grateful for? Dan's demotion at work, which is wreaking havoc on his self-esteem (which was belly high to a centipede, anyway). Thing is, between his kvetching over the pain in his legs, knees and feet, and the terrible way he's been treated at work, I find my patience with him in short supply.

After all, I have the pain in my neck, arm, back, feet, toes, etc., etc., etc. I still walk every day, and while I've curtailed my gym visits so I can spend more time on the computer culling through SUPERNATURAL stuff, I still make it my business to MOVE as much as I can. Dan has been going to the gym once a week, if that, and his constant complaining is just pissing me off! I told that to Tracey yesterday at our session.

I listened to myself complain to her about Gary and Dan yesterday, thinking that *I* sounded pretty down, myself.

This past Sunday, Dan and I returned to Sizzler so I could show one of the gals who makes omelets there my Vancouver photos of Jensen and Jared. She and her sister and big SUPERNATURAL fans, and she commented about my SPN t-shirt, so we returned there so I could show her the photos. On my way to the omelet table, I saw a guy, about 65-70, passing by stuffing a slice of cheese into his mouth. "Did you steal that cheese from the omelet station?" I asked, mock-accusingly. A few minutes later, he came over to me at the table and said, "Hi, I had a great time with you last night, you were FANTASTIC!" And he winked at me! I caught on to the joke and played along: "Shhh," I said, "I told you not to talk to me here, my husband's going to catch on!" Then we burst out laughing. Dan was confused, but he finally caught on to the joke, too. (See, Dan's been a non-laughing drag lately, no fun at all.) Turned out my cheese-stealing jokester friend is a retired dentist and we started talking to him and his wife (his second, his first died after they'd been married 35 years). He had a marvelous sense of humor, and while I'm sure he hurts in many places, too, he was such a riot and so much fun to shmooze with!

We talked while we ate, and I was struck by the contrast between my angry, humorless husband and this guy I'd just met who kept me laughing. I told Tracey about the incident, and how even though I had warned Dan to leave Marchon after Jim left, he didn't listen, and once the ONE person who'd liked him there left, that was the end of any happiness, raises or promotions Dan saw there.

And as much as Dan complains about being in pain, when Dr. Jacob orders him to take medication for it, he stops or cuts it down because it makes him sleepy--so why bother going to the doctor if he isn't going to obey her orders? He pisses me off so much because he doesn't help himself!!

Rant is done.

Tomorrow, we're only having Dan's friend from work over for Thanksgiving dinner, not Mike, who is going to his uncle's in Westchester. I can't blame Mike for accepting a family invitation, but Dan is annoyed because, with Mike, we're always second choice. Hey, I'm used to THAT! I've never been first with anyone, ever!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING, all!

Love, Robin

I haven’t written all week, bad me, but I’ve been out sick since Tuesday afternoon, when I left after working a straight six. Here’s the full story—I was suffering from a sore throat and painful glands in my neck, but my departure was more from anger and heartsickness than anything else. Connie got a Special Achievement Award, which means three people in my office (Charlie and Mike being the other two) got those PLUS movie tickets, leaving me out YET AGAIN.

I wrote an infuriated e-mail to Gabby, informing her that I am going to file a REDRESS complaint against Gary; I’ve been discriminated against enough, damn it! I was very angry and upset, and it wasn’t only this latest incident, but also what Betty told me had happened at the Postmasters’ Quarterly meeting on Thursday, when Gary disavowed all knowledge of my phone calls to the associate offices to let them know what times they would be getting trucks on Veteran’s Day. He claimed that “some women in my office made those phone calls without my knowledge or permission.” Betty made the mistake of telling me this story on Friday as I was leaving for my three day weekend, somehow thinking I would find it amusing. What is DID was piss me off further, especially after Betty brought it up with Clyde (who had TOLD Betty to have me and others make those phone calls!) and he just told her, “Don’t worry about it.” Easy for him to say!

On Tuesday, Betty was out sick, but I, having thought about the injustice of Gary’s claim at the meeting, was revved up and indignant. So I went to Clyde and laid into him, showing my anger over being left out of employee rewards for the first time. Now, I’ve always thought of Clyde as someone who sympathizes with me and is willing to listen to my bitching, but I realized, for the first time, that he’s no kind, concerned Craig Barnes, and is only concerned about covering his own ass. When I told him I was going to bring Gary up before REDRESS and accused him of not giving a damn, he said to do whatever I had to do, citing all the work he has to do that has nothing to do with me or any of the other employees in our office.

For all intents and purposes, he totally blew me off. So as my parting shot, I snapped, “You know, I have a year of sick leave, maybe it’s time I started using it!”

With my throat hurting and feeling in a violated, neglected and unappreciated state of mind, I decided to work a straight six hours and go home. So I left at 12:30, went home, and spent much of the afternoon on the computer downloading stuff from the Chicago Con, where Jensen and Jared were thus honored:

Supernatural's Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki Receive High Honors
on Veteran's Day

Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki received a very special honor on
Sunday, November 11, 2007. Ackles and Padalecki, stars of the CW's
television program, Supernatural, were special guests at Creation
Entertainment's "Salute to Supernatural, Smallville and
Buffy/Angel" in Schaumburg, IL.

Master Sergeant Kevin Wise, a Special Forces soldier, was in attendance at the convention. Wise joined Ackles and Padalecki on stage to announce that Supernatural Season One and Season Two are the most requested DVDs among armed forces personnel in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Wise also reported that Warner Brothers Entertainment, Inc. and Kripke Entertainment, Inc. are going to send 3,000 copies of the DVDs to soldiers stationed in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Wise next presented Ackles and Padalecki each with a thank you letter from General David H. Petraeus, Commander of the Multi-National Force in Iraq, stating the following: "Every day in Iraq and Afghanistan our military service members are constantly in harm's way. At any moment they could be severely injured or even killed. They are constantly under pressure and stress. For that short time when they can sit, relax and watch a television show, Supernatural, gives each of them the opportunity to forget about the constant pressure and stress they deal with on a daily basis. Our favorite television shows remind us of family, friends, and home. I would like to thank the entire cast and crew that make Supernatural one of the most popular shows among our military service members. On behalf of every military service member who is deployed in Iraq, Afghanistan and worldwide, I would like to express my gratitude for your continuing support of all of our military service members. Best of luck in your future endeavors."

In addition to the letters, they were also each presented with an honorary Special Forces coin from his unit. Wise explained that five active Special Forces Groups are in existence. Each group has its own unique coin. Wise is a part of the 12-member Special Forces Unit ODA 045 or "Team Texas." To receive a coin, recipients must either become a Green Beret or be given one by a Green Beret. Civilians are rarely given a coin.

Ackles and Padalecki were very touched by the gesture, and presented Wise with a shooting script, signed by the Supernatural cast and crew.

I saw this presentation on the net several times, and it never failed to bring me to tears, or to want me to stand up and give Jensen, Jared and all of America a standing ovation!

I must admit, it was also nice to see SOMEONE appreciated for the work they do.

Speaking of which, I called the Postal Inspection Service today to notify them that I suspect one of our mailers is cheating us out of money. I have some proof, I think, and held it aside. I’ve been noticing some dicey stuff for a while now. So I DO pay attention, and I DO care, although why I should, I don’t know!

Connie turned 41 yesterday, but I called in sick and wasn’t here to oversee a card or a cake, but someone took care of it, I understand. In previous years, I would have been all crazy, making sure someone took care of it, but since I suspect Gary is using Connie to spy/lie about my internet use here, I really don’t give a shit anymore. Why should I? All I know is, if Gary wants to play dirty, so can I! I can tell the powers that be how he lets Connie take lunch during work hours, lets her leave the premises ON THE CLOCK! He thinks he’s above these things, but he’s not, and he’ll find out the hard way how that goes.

My Mom’s birthday would have been the 13th, and I did wish her a happy in heaven. I really miss her at times like this, even though she’d have been 86 and her brain most likely fried by now, had she lived.

My head hurts. I even cancelled my appointment with Tracey Tuesday, I was feeling so crappy. And I really needed someone to unload on, too, after the events of the day. But my physical pain was worse than my mental pain, so that took precedence.

I spoke to Nancy a couple of times yesterday. She’s back in depression mode after learning her Comp case was turned down. They even want her to return the 45 days of pay they already gave her! She’s hiring a lawyer and appealing the decision, but that could take a year, and she won’t get paid all that time. Chris wants her to take Disability Retirement, but she still wants to fight. I had no idea she the post office she was running as Postmaster was in a Mafia neighborhood where the former Postmaster let patrons do whatever they wanted, including not paying for a lot of stuff! When Nancy wanted to run things by the book, they wanted her out, and apparently began to send in letters of complaint, harassing her, letting the air out of her tires, and other assorted enticements urging her to leave.

No wonder she passed out at work and had to be rushed to the hospital! This was all news to me. I had no idea she had gone to work in a crazy office with all this pressure; this was the first I’d heard of it. So after all this horrific stress, she was denied Comp? That’s just nuts! And I understand she was writing e-mails to her Manager, begging him for help, and he just ignored her. This is the asshole who turned her down for Comp, because it makes HIM look bad! Her lawyer thinks she’s got an excellent case, but it’s going to take a long time before it’s heard, and what are Connie and Chris going to do for money in the meantime?

And Nancy was doing so well, too. Leave it to the PO to fuck that up!

As for Dan, he’s been demoted from Assistant Supervisor to Clerk at Marchon, sent from a building where he had friends and a job he liked to a building where he hated working under a Manager and Supervisor he hated working for. His pay remains the same, an embarrassingly small salary for a man his age and experience, but Dan’s ego has taken a huge hit, and I feel terrible for him. I don’t know what to do for him, or what to say, except to tell him what a wonderful man he is and that he deserves so much better. Unfortunately, luck has not smiled on my husband, and with his increasing problems with knee, foot and leg pain, I don’t know how much longer he’s going to be working at Marchon. They don’t care about him, about his dignity, certainly, and making him sit in one place doing one boring job all day is going to destroy him. He’s working alone, without music to listen to, and when he comes home, he’s dragging and sad.

Yet we’ve tried to find him other jobs, without success. No one wants to hire a 55 year old man with lots of experience looking for a decent salary! I wish he could get Disability Retirement and spend time making money off the books working on computers.

It’s pouring outside. I want to go home. My throat feels better, but my psyche, not so good. I just read that one of the new actresses on SUPERNATURAL got busted for driving drunk—and gave her name as that of ANOTHER SUPERNATURAL actress! We don’t need this ugly publicity after the boys were just awarded those coins from the military!

Love, Robin

So I'm here at work, reading an excellent piece of SUPERNATURAL fan fiction most of the morning. My workload here has been reduced to nothing, but I don't want to ask for work, because then people put together "busywork" for you to do, and I despise that. If it isn't worthwhile, hell, I'd rather read SUPERNATURAL fanfic! I know, I'm not getting paid for that, but it's what I'd rather do!

Connie left early to take her elder daughter to the doctor. Danielle injured her foot a couple of weeks ago, and the athletic child seems to want to just run, dance and rock 'n' roll on the blasted thing, even though it's still bothering her. Although she's supposed to be using crutches, she's been holding them far more than using them to help her walk. Connie wants to let her do whatever Dani wants to do, and suffer with the consequences. Way to MOTHER, Connie!

Yesterday, I told Tracey some horror stories about working at the VMF. I think she found my lurid, ugly tales of the cruelty heaped on me by Brenda and Joanne nearly impossible to believe, but I assured her they were all true and not in the least exaggerated. Working with those women was like working with. . .well, I'd say animals, but I think most animals would be kinder and more cooperative to each other than those women were to me! I get cold shivers just remembering what happened there--the threats, isolation, the way those women would call in sick on the worst possible days, leaving me to do all the work alone--and feel sickness in the pit of my stomach.
That was when I had my first panic attack and was rushed to the hospital--and knew I had to do something drastic to get my ass out of there!

Which, thank God, I did.

Sometimes, it seems as if my life has been one big fight.

My packs of SUPERNATURAL cards came in the mail yesterday, but because I had to see Tracey yesterday afternoon (who was running late) and make a fast dinner when I got home and there was a lot to go through on the dean_sam Live Journal, I didn't have time to open them.

And, because I was so tired, I fell asleep watching the 8 and 9 PM TV shows, as I had the night before. Dan's snoring is killing me! Yesterday I woke up at 3:30 AM and couldn't get back to sleep, so I got up, and by the time I got to work, I was ready to go back to sleep--but couldn't, of course, because those SOB's expect me to WORK! Plus I still am way behind on my TV watching, and the DVR is filled with shows I have yet to see!

I realize I'm bitching about trivial things, but hey, this is my life.

Greg, Dan's co-worker, came over last night to fix the sheetrock that had to be cut out to fix the pipe under the kitchen sink. Another task down. We bought a new Whirlpool washer at P C Richard over the weekend and I had to say goodbye to my beautiful but apparently fragile Fisher & Peykal machine as they carted it away. It was going to cost too much to fix, so we purchased a new one. With delivery, hookup, service contract and tax, it came out close to a thousand dollars. I didn't want to spend that much, but hopefully, we'll have this one for a long time and not have to buy another anytime soon!

Gaby treated all of us here in the building to lunch today for doing a good job--heroes, soda, cole slaw and potato/macaroni salads. It was very nice and I appreciated it. Thank God Gary wasn't giving out tickets to this lunch, or I probably would have been left out of this, too!

This weekend there's a SUPERNATURAL convention in Chicago. Lots of folks from my lists are attending. This is the same weekend I was supposed to be going with Ali to a soap opera convention down in Orlando, but instead, she, her family and Brad are attending an aunt's 90's birthday party in Vegas. I guess I COULD have gone to Chicago, but honestly, I would have felt pretty guilty spending even more money after the big chunk I already spent going to Vancouver on behalf of my SUPERNATURAL addiction. Perhaps I'll go to the SUPENATURAL Florida convention in April.

Dan's boss, Sonny, was supposed to be leaving Marchon to join his wife and baby daughter in California, but he decided he wasn't going to let his wife push him around; she left New York while she was pregnant because he refused to force his meddling sister to leave his house. She wants him to move to California, where a job in construction awaits him (through HER family), but Sonny dug in his heels and informed her he was remaining in New York. Unfortunately,

Sonny's decision to stay has screwed up Dan's work situation. Instead of staying at the 265 building, where he was finally pretty happy, working for Gus, a boss who at least appreciated him, Dan's now back at the main building, working with Manager John Huggins, the son of a bitch who hasn't given him a raise in five years! This also means Dan's going to have to run up and downstairs to get frames, which is going to be very hard on his bad knees and feet. I know this change is going to make Dan very unhappy. At least Gus threw him some overtime now and then, but I doubt John will be that generous. For whatever reason, Dan angered the top dogs at Marchon years ago and they have frozen his salary at a ridiculously low level. It will never be anymore, nor will they promote him so he can make more. Unless he gets another job where he garners respect, Dan will be making a paltry, embarrassing salary until the day he retires. And at his age, I don't know if that will ever happen.

I'm so tired, and I might just take a nap when I get home today!

But first, I have to pick up the ORIGINS: SUPERNATURAL comic books! I tried to Monday, but they're closed Monday and Tuesday.

Love, Robin

Dan called me early this morning and asked, "Are you sitting down?" The last time he asked that, he informed me that his co-worker, Linda, had died in her sleep at age 37. At the time, given the climate at his job, I remember fearing he was about to tell me he'd been fired.

So in a twisted, horrible way, hearing Linda had died was actually better news than what I'd been expecting. I know that sounds terrible, but Linda and I had once tried going out together to Governor's for a show for a GENERAL HOSPITAL soap opera actor, and it became clear by the end of the evening that we had little in common and would never be getting together socially again. Plus, it seemed obvious to me that she had a crush on Dan and wasn't hiding it from him, and her failure to search for a job elsewhere despite her unhappiness at Marchon was because of her feelings for him.

Dan's news--that he had won $1,000 on WBLI, a radio show--was much more joyous, of course, and I am thrilled! I'm sure he's already found plenty of ways to spend it. He wants to buy a fancy new washing machine to replace the one damaged in our flood, even though I REALLY love the Fisher-Peykal and want to fix that, if possible. Problem is, fixing it will cost almost as much as a new one wiil! These techs (and only a very few fix my foreign-made machine), want $135 to walk in the door, before any parts and labor! Is it worth it? I'm not sure, but I will be touching base with Donna, the Allstate insurance agent, to discuss that.

I wore my black and red devil ears to work yesterday, mainly to annoy Gary, of course. He didn't say one word to me, but then again, he hasn't even said good morning since we had our "discussion" about the movie tickets and he lied to me. I told anyone who asked that I was Gary's minion. That was fun! Tee he.

We didn't have a lot of trick or treaters yesterday, but Bugsy and Snaps could hear all the kids walking around, chattering, and later, the older ones doing mischievous damage with shaving creme and eggs. I brought in my excess chocolate today, but I've been munching on it myself quite a bit, which I don't need!

Brad had a bad Halloween observation yesterday; the afternoon version went really well, but the bitch watched the morning version, and things didn't go smoothly at all. I felt so badly for him when he told me about it, because it apparently ruined his day. He dressed as Shaggy from the Scooby Doo gang, but described how many girls were sent home for dressing like slutty nurses, cops, cheerleaders, referees (with the number 69 on their uniforms), etc. Must have been quite a day in Bellmore-Merrick Grand Avenue Junior High School! But Brad was sad because the bitch who observed him fired a lot of nasty questions his way and left without saying a word. My poor son!

I bought the latest novel in the SUPERNATURAL series, WITCH'S CANYON, from Border's yesterday. I didn't get to read the last one until I took my cruise. I hope I don't have to wait that long!

I WAS FINALLY ABLE TO DONATE BLOOD YESTERDAY! I was so happy, because it's been such a long time since I was able to do so. Either my iron level wasn't high enough or my pulse was too high, but yesterday I avoided drinking coffee (don't even ask how drowsy I was until my 9 AM appointment time), so my pulse was only 82. And my iron level was excellent! So I gave my pint (the initial needle stick hurt like a bastard!), took my Oreos and went to the cafeteria for my first, blessed cup of coffee for the day (yummers)! A guy I barely knew paid for it, too, before I even got up there, and ran away before I could even thank him for doing so.

I've been getting treated to coffee a lot lately, by Charlie and Jimmy here, others in the cafeteria. Has everyone heard how Gary stiffed me on the movie tickets and they're rallying 'round to make it up to me? I don't know, but I love it!

I still can't believe Dan won a thousand bucks, but I feel it's a makeup to us for being cheated out of $800 by that plumbing company last week! I still can't get over that!

Love, Robin

I was pondering what I want from Gary after this movie tickets debacle, and was discussing it just now with Betty while we were in a very boring telecon. I want an apology! Ideally, I want him to tell me he's sorry for leaving me out of the movie ticket giveaway, but if not that (hey, he doesn't think I deserve anything), then how about an apology for lying to me about having given out the tickets, then e-mailing me insisting he doesn't lie? So he can tell me he's sorry for lying to me twice! I doubt if he would, because he won't admit he's wrong, or that he's a fucking liar, but that would sure make me feel better. Then again, I doubt I could get what would sound like a sincere apology out of that asshole, could I?

Dan worked overtime Saturday morning, so I went to the gym by myself and worked out for a solid hour. Felt great! I hit a dollar store for a bunch of really-not-needed items, but I did get a sink stopper so we won't get anymore sludge going down the drain to clog up our pipe. Speaking of which, I had a Roto-Rooter clone come by yesterday to clean out the kitchen pipe, so we should be good to go. It sounded like the machine the guy was using was trying to work its way through rock, it was straining so hard! That only cost $53, unlike the $800 we paid last week for the rip-off of the century.

I've been collecting repair costs for our washing machine. Given that it's probably going to cost at least $300 to repair it, and it's four years old and ran us $675, I don't know what to do. Get it fixed? Hit the insurance company up for another one? I have to call them later, after I get home from my shrink appointment. Sigh. Always something.

The stress of all this shit has me hitting the Halloween candy pretty hard. I know I shouldn't, but Mounds, M&M's, Kit Kats and Hershey bars are just so soothing when I come home in a bad mood! I find myself salivating just thinking about popping them into my mouth. I don't dare test my blood sugar, because I know it won't be good! Why am I being so self-destructive? Because I want chocolate more than I want good blood sugar, that's why, at least right now!

Dan went back for his second sleep study gig on Saturday night. He definitely has sleep apnea, so they'll be setting him up with a special machine and mask that he'll have to wear to bed. It will eliminate his snoring and give him restful sleep--for the first time in years! I'm so happy, because I think it will give him a longer life, more energy and better health. And given that he's stuck with a harpy like me, he deserves all those things, LOL!

No new tales to tell, at least right now. See ya soon!

Love, Robin