I'm working overtime tonight. I didn't want to, but John R left sick at noon and Charlie, who works overtime instead of me sometimes, left early, too; he wasn't feeling well, either. I had planned to go to the gym for half an hour, but now I have to leave and go straight home to start dinner and let the dogs out. It occurred to me that one of the reasons we owed money to the government this year was due to my extra overtime money. Not that I'm working a lot, but it seems to me that whatever additional cash I brought home this year is now being turned over to Uncle Sam. Phooey!

I applied to join a SUPERNATURAL list on the net. I remember how exciting it was when I first joined all the DARK SHADOWS discussion lists and how thrilling it was to talk, ad nauseum, about the show and all its miniscule details. Now, although I still belong to a lot of DS lists, with the show not on anywhere, discussion has petered out and the thrill is gone. I would really love to join a list that talks about a show that's currently on the air and see if I could regain that fun and excitement.

Last night, I taped all my favorite shows so Dan and I could watch AMERICAN IDOL. I promptly fell asleep. Last week, I watched GILMORE GIRLS and VERONICA MARS live and taped IDOL, which I didn't even bother to watch. Having the TV all to myself was really nice, I must admit, and not having to watch IDOL with Dan even nicer. I just don't find that show as fascinating as everyone else, and it put me straight to sleep last night! Maybe when we're down to the final 10 contestants, it will generate more excitement for me.

I did enjoy going with my men for two-fer Tuesday to Sidekicks last night. The food wasn't even all that great, but just spending time with Dan and Brad was very special. Brad's crappy moods are directly traceable to how hard he's working as a first-year teacher, and I'm hoping so hard that once he's past year #1, he'll find it much easier. I see glimmers of his happier, calmer side now and then, the young man with the slightly sick, sly sense of humor, and realize how much I miss him. I understand he made it clear to Grandpa Sidney that he doesn't want to date any other girls; Ali is the only one for him.

I really need a vacation. I was thinking I might ask Sharon when we go out tomorrow night if she'd like to go somewhere with me over spring break. We had talked of taking a vacation together many years ago, before either of us were married. The only place we were offered by every travel agent in our time frame was a bus trip to the Finger Lakes. We got so sick of it, we declared, "FUCK the Finger Lakes!", and ever since, we've said it as a private joke between us. Perhaps I'll suggest it for real, since we never did take that trip, anywhere, and I'd gladly go to the Finger Lakes at this point, just to get away.

I'm still menstruating, and not thrilled about it, either. I just want to finish with the whole damn process! Enough with the blood. It's not like I want to have anymore kids, and now it's just a nuisance.

You know why I titled this "weird mood"? Because I'm in one. I've felt weird all day. Not happy, not sad. Strange.

And the last thing I wanted was to stay late today!

Kat, are you out there? I miss you!

Love, Robin

I know they say death and taxes are inevitable, but in my case, it seems that while the latter certainly are, I can't seem to get rid of the former permanently. I hadn't seen "Aunt Flo" since September, and was hoping she had gone on a permanent vacation and that I had graduated from peri-menopause to the state of perm-menopause, but a couple of days ago, to my horror, I realized the Red Witch was back--my period had arrived once more!

Damn!

From what I've read, you need to be period-free for a full year before you're officially over peri-menopause, so what this means, I suppose, is that I now have to start that year all over again. I'm not happy. I was looking at my little pile of tampons and wondering if I should give them away. Shit!

As for taxes, we had our accountant over to do ours and Brad's. He's getting back $1700, and was naturally delighted. Given that we have so few deductions, now that we're no longer able to take tax credits for Brad's education, we owe nearly a thousand dollars between State and Federal taxes--plus Marty charged us $600 to do our taxes this year. He only charged us $450 last year and most of the years before that. I went to bed so depressed, I could hardly sleep. I had promised Dan that we could buy a big-screen TV with our refund, but since we're not getting one, I guess that means no TV. It's not fair; we're making blue-collar wages, and having to pay taxes just burns my ass. We just had to pay a $500 oil bill, more than $400 for two months of electricity and gas, our town and school taxes are ridiculously high, and now this?? Something's wrong, it really is!

Oh, and yesterday, the Dow Industrials lost over 400 points, more than they have since just after 9/11/2001, when Osama bin Laden's terrorists murdered over 3000 innocent people in Manhattan. There are many reasons for this sudden plummet, so many. I was on a treadmill at the gym yesterday, watching CNN as the Dow numbers fluctuated between terrible and I'm-jumping-off-a-bridge-horrific, and I just kept up a litany as I huffed and puffed, "It always comes back, it always comes back."

OK, my rant is over. It's only money, I know that, but it seems to me that way more goes out than comes in, and as someone who has never felt secure, that has always scared me.

Let's change the subject.

Daniel Radcliffe, the 17-year-old actor who has been portraying Harry Potter in the enormously successful young wizard movies, recently took on a starring role in EQUUS that requires a nude scene. Many young ladies who attended the preview claim it was all for the play, and not to get a look at young Daniel's wand.

Yeah, and I watch (and drool over) SUPERNATURAL's Jared and Jensen because I feel so motherly toward the handsome stars, both of whom are youthful enough to be my sons.

Love, Robin

As I've been saying all along, once my family purchased a snow blower, we would never get the chance to use it, and even though we were promised a nasty snowstorm for the past couple of days, when I awakened this morning after a terrible night's sleep, all I saw on the ground was an inch or two of slushy nothing! We weren't going to be able to use our snowblower on THAT!

I hate when all the TV networks play up a storm, scare the shit out of everyone, make you fear the end of the world is nigh, and NOTHING HAPPENS! I guess it's better than predicting flurries and having us awaken to find a foot of snow on the ground, but damn--I went to the grocery store yesterday afternoon and found that panicked shoppers had cleaned the shelves of milk and bread! I wanted to assure everyone, "Hey, it's 2007. We have snowplows, sand, salt--we know how to deal with what they're predicting, which is only 4-7 inches of snow. If they were talking a foot or two, I'd worry, but they're not!" And besides, my husband and I bought a fucking snowblower and it's NEVER GOING TO SNOW ENOUGH FOR US TO USE IT!

With Dan home, there was once again coffee stains on the counter and the floor. Why? Because he spills it there, and never cleans it up. Why? I don't know. I yelled at him about it, though, and I could tell that my yelling actually upset him. Will it change his behavior? I can only hope. I kneeled and cleaned up the stains, cursing him. When I was alone, I had clean floors and countertops for a few days, and I liked it.

My friend Nancy claims her husband Chris can get along with any and every animal, even really difficult ones. So I challenged her to see what would happen if we introduced Chris to Bugsy. If he truly is, as she claims, an animal whisperer who can charm any wild creature, he certainly had his work cut out for him with the Bugster!

They stopped by shortly after I took a nap on Saturday. They refused anything to eat or drink. Chris sat beside me on the big sofa, Snaps between us. Snaps loved that Chris petted him without let-up and flipped over on his back to bask in the attention, his leg going wildly.

Nancy fell in love with Bugsy at first sight, but that led to a problem--she wanted to keep touching him. Although Dan, Chris and I kept warning her, as if she were a child, to leave him alone, it was apparently impossible for her to comply; she lay down on the floor so she could be as close to him as possible, cooing and murmuring her adoration. She patted his back; Bugsy snarled, turned and showed his teeth, warning her that another unwanted touch would result in torn skin and blood. Nancy apologized profusely, we all chastised her, and they took their leave shortly thereafter. I was glad they had a chance to see the Mr. Hyde side of Bugsy, because aside from that one "Vietnam moment," he just lay contentedly in the living room with the four of us and Snaps.

They hadn't been gone three minutes when Nancy called us on her cell phone from the car and said, "I miss Bugsy."

That's why, for her birthday, I'm giving her a photo of Bugsy in a Lucite frame that says, "BUGSY LOVES NANCY" and a nice picture of Snaps in a Pisces frame. I think she'll be delighted to have them. She and Chris took off today to celebrate her birthday. They're taking the train into the city to have lunch at Tavern on the Green. Good for them!

Everyone has been telling me Nancy is a nut case. Now even I'm beginning to understand why. But her love for animals cannot be questioned, and for that alone, I love her.

Connie is back from vacation tomorrow, and that God!

Love, Robin

PS - I'm still reading MARLEY & ME. I'm already so sad anticipating the death of this amazing dog, but I know how these books must end, and I get a hitch in my chest thinking about it.

Dan and Brad arrived home about 11:30 last night. I had gone to bed, but wasn't really sleeping, just lying there listening for the sound of the front door opening downstairs. Snaps leaped out of bed, barking, and bounded down the steps when he heard the cab pull up in front of the house. Bugsy barked, too, not knowing why, but determined to join his adoptive brother in making noise.

"Bugsy, Bradley and Daddy are home!" I announced, scooping the blind lhasa into my arms and tossing him over my shoulder for the journey downstairs. Once at the bottom, I carefully released him onto the floor, into the waiting arms of my husband, who gleefully petted the excited Bugsy. I hugged and kissed my men, feeling more tired than elated, but I was so grateful that they had arrived home safely!

Brad and Dan were both very "up", since to them it was only 8:30 PM. They gave me a gorgeous necklace, a couple of Harry Potter books we already have ("But they were so cheap!" was their excuse), chocolate candy (which I surely don't need, with my vow to really lose weight), and several other trinkets. The living room, which I had straightened and cleaned with such care, looked like a bomb had exploded, and they left their suitcases blocking the door, just so I'd be inconvenienced walking the dogs and trying to get out of the house this morning. Sigh! How quickly everything returns to normal!

Tired as I am, I'm meeting Dan after work at the gym this afternoon. Beyond walking while he was in San Diego, he hasn't exercised much this week, so he needs to get back on the stick.

Last night's episode of GREY'S ANATOMY had me blubbering out loud! It was such an emotional show, Charlie, one of my co-workers, said he had to walk out when his wife started to cry. You know it's a good one when the husbands can't take the pressure of all that honest, heartfelt emotion that makes you reach for the tissue box! Welcome back to the world, Meredith! Since the show is named for you, I didn't really think you'd kick it, but it sure was fun watching you return to the world of the living. Plus, watching Denny Duquette ease you from dead to living, then have that one sweet "two ships passing in the night" moment with Izzy was so sweet, so beautiful, it started me crying all over again. What great, sobby television. Bravo, ABC!

There's so much going on in our local news, I felt I should comment about some of it.

Those two young girls murdered by the crazy, depressed young man who then killed himself is one of the saddest stories I've read in a long time. And all because one of the dead girls told another girl that she didn't like her boyfriend (the killer). I guess her instincts were right--but she should have kept her mouth shut.

A boy and his dog. He's deaf and wants to bring his pooch to school. There are many arguments for and against this one, but being the dog lover I am, I say let the kid bring the dog and we'll see what happens. I doubt the dog will bite anyone, but there are allergies, people afraid of dogs, and other concerns. One of my co-workers said this young man should be home-schooled and not allowed to be mainstreamed with other students. What do you think?

And of course, there's the filthy house where a mother was semi-living with her three daughters. Just reading about the state of the house--filled with feces and urine--is enough to make me gag. I don't know the entire story, but it sounds like this mother has mental problems. Whatever, it's terribly upsetting.

As for Anna Nicole Smith, I wish her troubled soul a safe flight to heaven and reunion with her son. Her body is enduring enough hell here. I just want to see her baby girl in the custody of someone who will love her and make sure she knows her mother loved her, too. This story is so sad and sick, all the adults involved should be committed, for there is surely something wrong with every single one of them.

As for Brittney, new hairdo notwithstanding, I remember, many years ago, telling a young girl that she should like and respect you because you were staying a virgin until marriage, that you were a GOOD girl and she should strive to one day be just like you. Now, I just say, "When you get too much too soon, sometimes you take the wrong path and make bad choices. Be like the old Brittney, not this one. Never this one."

That's all I've got to say on this Friday, Merry Blogsters. I'm very sleepy after staying up to await my Left Coast travelers. But seeing their beloved faces last night was worth every last moment of missed shut-eye!

Love, Robin

Sometimes, four-day work-weeks seem longer than five day ones do. I don't understand why, but it's true. This week has been going fairly quickly, probably because I've been so busy with Connie's busywork. I really don't understand her need to keep the records she insists on keeping, but she's quite adamant about it, so I'm doing what she wants. Frankly, I think she inputs this stuff for her own benefit, because I suspect no one looks at it, ever. I consider it a waste of time. Sigh.

Dan called me a short while ago. He and Brad will be arriving home around 10 PM tonight. The house will no longer be quiet. Bugsy will have his two men to follow and stalk. He's been so good with me, sleeping, eating, taking morning walks, running around outside and NOT biting anyone. Snaps, on the other hand, just keeps barking, seemingly at nothing, which is a real annoyance. I don't know if he's hearing a lot of suspicious sounds outside, bored and trying to stir up trouble, or what, but he yips and yaps, barks and moans, while Bugsy quetly sleeps. I was trying to hear my TV shows last night, and I can't tell you how often I yelled, "Shut up, Snaps!"

I sound like a mean bitch, don't I?

For the past two nights, I DID NOT watch American Idol. Normally, I watch with Dan and record what's on against it, but I chose to watch the programs I like live and skip Idol entirely--both nights! It was great! I think I watch AI only because Dan is such a fan, at least until they get to the nitty gritty of the final dozen contestants.

Dan called again; their plane is leaving 40 minutes late. Perhaps they'll make up the shortfall in the air, like they did on the plane coming in. I hope so. I can't wait to hug my husband and son and welcome them home!

There's been something bugging me that I just had to mention. When he learned I was going to be alone most of this week, my brother said he might come out and take me to dinner. Sharon, my best friend, said she'd make time to hang out with me. Nancy, who I just agreed to an 8-day pet-sitting stint at the end of March, was supposed to have me over for a meal during my home alone time. Not one of these invitations came to pass. I had four nights alone after my family went to San Diego.

It's a damn good thing I enjoy my own company, isn't it? And that I'm an easygoing, forgiving soul who doesn't hold people to things they say they're going to do for me. Or I might feel really, really bad right now, bereft, angry, sad and like kicking some ass.

No, I'll just continue to be surprised when people, including close friends and my brother come through for me.

Love, Robin