I am nervous!

Sure, I'm always nervous when I'm about to fly somewhere, but I feel as if this trip to Florida for Eyecon (SUPERNATURAL convention) is RIGHT ON TOP OF ME and I'm not anywhere near ready for it! God, it's scary! I have a reminder list of stuff to do, but it seems like it's way too much to do in the time that's left. I'm working overtime tonight because John had to go somewhere this afternoon, which pares down my time even more. Dan and I will go out to Giovanni's tonight for dinner, that's more time shaved off. So I have tomorrow, and I am going to work, which leaves like. . .nothing!

I'm being picked up 4 AM Friday morning by the car service, so it's not like there's going to be any last minute chances to do anything. Am I nuts? Always, but. . .

I've been reading the accounts of those who went to the LA Con this past weekend. They were really lucky, they had both Jensen AND Jared at their convention, where I'm only getting Jared (I don't mean that the way it sounds, I'm thrilled with Jared, but both would have been nice). And we're getting a whole bunch more guest stars than they did, plus Sandy, who is now Jared's FIANCEE! He announced their engagement at the LA Con (he asked her in Paris, how romantic is that)?

Those who fervently believe that Jensen and Jared are lovers in real life are heartbroken by this annoucement. They can't let go of the J2 insistence that the truly epic romance is between the J's and those "shippers", as they call themselves, will continue to spew out stories of anal and oral sex between them forever and ever! Like I told one of the gals on my Flist, that's why it's called J2 FICTION!

I am thrilled over Jared and Sandy's engagement and can't wait to see her ring. It's supposed to be a big honking stone!

Dan keeps giving me the jokey guilt trip about how he and Brad will starve. I know Dan will eat all meals out. I'm not worried about him starving! I do hope Brad doesn't leave him all alone all weekend and spends a little time with him. Brad had a couple of dates with Melissa, but they didn't go out this past weekend at all; she was busy in NYC, supposedly. Brad is forcing us to clean up the house, and his room looks far better than it has in a long time. That's why I'm figuring he's going to be bringing her over one day soon, and he doesn't want her thinking we're a bunch of pigs. LMAO!

Ideally, I want Jared to sign that script I bought from eBay, but I'm worried about it being damaged. I don't even like the idea of carrying it around a lot, you know? I have to make a decision about it and fast!

I almost forgot, I was called on the carpet Monday about opening my big mouth to a mailer or someone internally here about something I apparently shouldn't have said. I probably was my brutally honest self and told someone we didn't have the manpower and/or equipment to handle his needs, and that person contacted Gabby, our Plant Manager, about what I said. Of course, that trickled down to Gary and Clyde, and both John and I were called into the office and chastised about "loose lips sinking ships," etc. No one actually told me who said what to who, but I gathered I was the offending person who started it all. John said this went down Friday, a day I had taken off to go to get an EKG, facial, manicure, pedicure (a place I won't return because they were jabbering in a language I didn't understand and the gal who worked on my feet was disgusted by my one fungus toe), and obviously wasn't around to say anything offensive. So I was miffed, and wanted to demand to know WHAT I supposedly said, and to whom, and get all the details, and then I decided to let it slide. Fuck it. Gary already considers me a screw-up, I think he's an asshole, why mess with the status quo?

Perhaps I'll write more tomorrow!

Love, Robin

Hm, had a tough time getting this screen to appear. Took its sweet time coming up. I wonder why? I just had to close down everything else in order to continue. Damn computer! Sometimes I just wish we didn’t depend on them the way we do!

I’m taking tomorrow off, mostly because I scheduled myself for a facial, manicure and pedicure at a place in Levittown (I have coupons only good on weekdays). I have to go get an EKG, which I should have done a few weeks ago, so I’m using sick leave, bad girl that I am. I’m sure it will be fine. All my blood work came back with good results; my A1C was 6.3, better than Dan’s 6.5. His individual numbers are still bad much of the time, though. I keep telling him he just EATS far too much, but he never changes his habits. The fact that we eat at buffets all the time doesn’t help matters, either. My plan/hope to lose weight before Eyecon isn’t going well. I’m still a hippo, and don’t seem to have the willpower to change that. I haven’t increased my visits to the gym and while I make an effort to eat better and less, I still often take the lazy way out instead, which isn’t the healthiest or best for me.

Last night, Dan, Brad and I went out to Giovanni’s for dinner. Brad drove me from home and Dan met us there from work. It was really nice, the three of us eating together, and I had a chance to ask Brad a little more about Melissa, the new gal he’s dating. She’s a five foot tall Italian gal; they went out Saturday night and Brad didn’t get home until 2:30 AM. She loves dogs but her parents own parakeets at the present time, and one of them sat on Brad’s shoulder and finger and took a shine to him. She drives a Hyundai and is an elementary school teacher in Queens. (They went to Adelphi together and reconnected through FaceBook on the net.)

Brad wants to invite Melissa to our home, but not in its tornado-like state, so over the weekend, we began a massive clean-up of the living room and record room. The living room looks pretty good now, the record room still has a ways to go. The kitchen definitely needs a similar cleanup, but my problem is, as it has always been, I just don’t have enough room to PUT anything! The storage space in my house is dreadful, and even though I’ve tried to add some over the years, it still seems as though we have more THINGS than places to put them. We were pretty brutal during the cleaning process, throwing out anything we hadn’t had use for since we tossed it into a bin or box. I would LOVE to have the kitchen looking as neat and clutter-free as our living room currently does, but have no idea where to start to making it look that way!

Anyway, Brad seems pretty pleased with Melissa so far. I wonder how Ali is doing since the breakup, but I don’t want to broach the subject with my son.

Someone posted on one of my SUPERNATURAL lists today that the San Diego affiliate has chosen to drop the CW. I wonder if that’s the beginning of the end of the entire network? If so, it really doesn’t matter if they have renewed our show for a fourth season or not; if the network folds, the show goes off the air regardless, unless another network picks it up!

Everything is heating up for the final 10 of AMERICAN IDOL. Frankly, I don’t see what the big deal is anymore. Dan is so enamored of that show, and of Paula Abdul, the slut judge, but her appeal just goes over my head. Maybe I’m a teeny bit jealous, but I do slobber over Jensen and Jared! Oh, and speaking of which, Brad took this past week of vacation to watch the first two eps of SUPERNATURAL. He likes it! He thinks it’s a great show, but not as good as, say, DEXTER, and I have a feeling he doesn’t want to catch up on all the eps he’s missed. He still seems to think my main reason for watching is the fabulous-looking actors, but they’re only part of my attraction, really. I happen to think it’s a quality show—writing, directing, acting, music, photography, etc.! It bothers me that my son thinks I’m that shallow.

Not much to report from my session with Tracey Tuesday. I told her about my trials and tribs with babysitters for Brad, and how I feared Rita may have abused him in some ways when she was watching him, that she revealed cruel character traits to me on a couple of occasions that disturbed me. I talked about Jeanne and how much I liked her, Saint Boniface, that awful school that got into trouble because it wasn’t licensed, blah blah blah. How you have to accept changes, even abrupt and unexpected ones, and find someone else to watch the most precious human being in the world—your child! How fucking difficult that is, how heart-wrenching, how much you hate your husband, for just a few moments, because he makes such a shitty salary and you can’t stay home and raise you son yourself.

(Except you know you would go crazy doing that, because while you love being Mommy, you also love being out in the business world, making money yourself. Be that honest with yourself, Robin!)

A week and a half to go and I head off to Florida and Eyecon! I can hardly believe it! I still expect to find out Jared isn’t coming due to filming constraints. It would kill the entire experience for me, but I would go anyway, of course. There’s still new friends to meet, and the rest of the actors who have been on the show as well. I’m really excited, but it’s tempered with knowledge; I went to more than one DARK SHADOWS con, and the only one I really enjoyed was my first. The rest were all downhill from there, sorry to say.

Yesterday we had a chance to enjoy some free food on the PO. They brought in breakfast, so after the supervisors got theirs, I had eggs, bacon, a bagel, juice--and some delicious fresh fruit later in the afternoon. Yummers!

Not much else to relate right now. It's warming up but due to rain quite a lot in the next few days. Blah!

Love, Robin

Normally I leave Melville and go directly to Tracey's office every Tuesday, but Steve got in touch Monday and asked me to meet him and Pat somewhere near Wantagh, so I chose a diner there and I instead raced there after work. I made pretty good time.

Pat and Steve were already there, waiting for me; she had ordered a salad (she recently lost 40 pounds on Jenny Craig) and Steve a liver steak. Not that hungry, I ordered fresh fruit cup. Steve had to leave for an appointment before 4 PM, so Pat and I lingered behind after he left, shmoozing. She looks pretty good--slim, her hair short and sleek, happy. Like me, she's on two anti-depressants. After a while, she paid the check, I left a tip, and I drove her to my house.

I'm always nervous about Bugsy's reaction to any new person, but he fell crazy in love with Pat and did things we have NEVER seen him do to any other person, not as long as we've had him as our pet!

He kissed her face! Now Bugsy has kissed our faces a time or two, but I suspect they were accidents. He seemed to be AIMING for Pat's face!

He jumped onto the sofa, right next to Pat. She asked if she could pet him, but, given how unpredictable Bugsy has been in the past, we advised her not to. So she sat stock still, afraid to move lest he take it as a hostile move. He barked at her, seeming, for all the world, like he was speaking to her. This was during AMERICAN IDOL, so loudly we couldn't hear the singing, but Bugsy refused to be shushed.

Then, the coup de grace--Bugsy got down on the floor and began to HUMP PAT'S LEG! This is the dog that bites first and asks questions after, and he was going to town on Pat's crossed-over leg to beat the band!

Dan, Brad and I watched this, tranfixed and stunned. Bugsy had NEVER, EVER humped anyone's leg before! We've had him for three and a half years, and this was a certified FIRST!

All that Pat accepted from me was a cup of coffee. I made Dan and Brad hamburgers for dinner while I ate a bowl of cereal.

Steve had told us to expect him around nine o'clock, but when he hadn't appeared by 10 PM, I excused myself and went to bed. I figured I'd get both dogs to come upstairs with me, so there would be no potential altercation between Steve and Bugsy when he finally showed up. But Bugsy refused to leave Pat.

So, why did Bugsy take to Pat that way? I used to think he loved me, but he was OBSESSED with her! Incredible!

Steve didn't show up until 11 PM or so, lots later than we expected him, but Brad got to see Uncle Steve for a bit, so that was good.

Pat's kids are doing well, as are her two grandkids. She doesn't seem all that happy trailing after Steve on the long-term care insurance road, even though she got her own license to sell the insurance. She liked working with the senior citizens, but not the administrator job.

I wasn't able to get around to looking at or downloading all my usual SUPERNATURAL stuff, so I'm way behind now. When I get home today, I'll really have to buckle down, but I'm SO TIRED, all I can think about it napping. It rained all day today, big downpour, and it seems as if spring and sunshine (and especially warmth) will never come our way!

In just two weeks, I'll be heading to Florida and my first SUPERNATURAL convention! I hope I enjoy it! I loved my first DARK SHADOWS convention so much. I want to feel the same way about Eyecon!

Love, Robin

It wasn’t a very eventful week, you know?

Tracey did show up this week, and told me we had discussed that she wouldn’t be in last week. I guess it just slipped my mind. She probably told me a couple of weks ago, but didn’t remind me. No biggie.

With no new eps of SUPERNATURAL on, I’ve just been watching the S1 DVD’s on Thursday nights at 9 PM. Last night, I settled down to watch a new ep of SMALLVILLE, only to have Nancy call me right as it started. I spoke with her so half-heartedly, and got off the phone so quickly, I should have just let the answering machine pick it up; it would have been kinder. Truth is, with her in Buffalo and me here, we just don’t have anything holding our friendship together, even though she is the one making all the phone calls to me and trying hard to maintain what we had. I realize I’m being mean, but she still sounds totally depressed to me. She’s retiring from the post office (she was denied disability), and let’s face it, there’s little for her to do up there. I always got the impression that she had a lot of friends, but either she doesn’t or they’re working or too busy with their own lives to get together with her. And Chris seems to spend a lot of time away from home.

Only a couple of weeks left before Eyecon down in Orlando. I’m excited and nervous. Amy is picking me up and dropping me off at the airport, so that’s taken care of. I promised her a signed copy of “The Snowman,” in exchange. I just keep praying we don’t hear that Jared can’t make it to this con due to filming necessities. He’s had to bail out before for that reason.

We’re taking Bugsy to the vet tomorrow. I decided not to go back to Southgate Animal Hospital in Copiague. I can’t explain why, but I just don’t like them anymore. I got good vibes from the East Village Green Animal Hospital in Levittown when we brought Snaps there for discounted vaccinations through Last Hope last year. I thought it was closer than Copiague, but according to Mapquest, it’s not.

Marty came to do our taxes last Friday. Sharon and I were out having dinner at Krisch’s (Tom got a bed at Columbia Presbyterian after Sharon finally confessed EVERYTHING about his disgusting behavior.) Until then, they were telling her they couldn’t get him a bed until AFTER EASTER! Anyway, Marty was annoyed because Bugsy kept alternately staring and barking at him. He charged us $500 to do our taxes, which is utterly ridiculous, and we will NOT be using him after this. We’re simple people with a relatively simple tax return, and it should NOT cost that kind of money to do our income tax sheet! Because Marty had us paying extra money all year in advance, we ended up with a wash, might owe a couple of bucks or get back a couple. Sharon and I went back to my house after dinner so we could keep both dogs occupied. Marty also anticipated doing Brad’s taxes, I think, but he was out with his bowling league. Marty rather curtly said if he wanted to get his taxes done with him, Brad would have to go to his office in Jericho. Dan and I found that a nasty response. Screw him! He wants us to take out a loan against our house, either another mortgage or a home improvement loan, but why should we when we’re finally done paying off our mortgage and can relax a little bit? I mean, Dan lost $410 a month from his paycheck, so why would we want to put ourselves further in debt?

Betty got all upset this week because with Gary on vacation (HURRAY!!!), a lot of spotlight landed on her and Gabby was all over her ass for reports and paperwork. As for me, Mary Ann had me closing out a lot of crap in TIMES again, which at least wasted some time and made the hours go more quickly. I hate the tedium of doing that, but at least it makes me feel I’m doing something for the company.

Sharon just texted me; she’s driving to the city to Columbia P. What a long haul! I feel badly for her. She thinks they’re going to attempt a heart transplant on Tom, but why give a good heart to a man with Parkinson’s disease? I can’t see that happening, I really can’t.

Thank God it’s the weekend! I can’t wait for April, for my two vacations! I’m not sure how much of a vacation visiting Doris and Sid is going to be. The way Dan talks, they’ve really deteriorated. If that’s true, I’m going to be totally depressed to see them. And my little boy turns 25 in April, too! He’s talking about moving into an apartment or buying a house. Jeez! He doesn’t talk about Ali at all. I think he feels he made the right decision. It just saddens me to think that when it comes to getting married, he first has to start all over again with a new person.

HAPPY ST. PATRICK’S DAY, ALL!

Love, Robin

Another Friday! Last week at this time, I was nervously anticipating leaving here to go first to Dr. Jacob, then to Mike West’s retirement party in Holbrook. I didn’t get done with Jacob until after 4 PM, and I had to fill up my gas tank before going anywhere.

Jacob seemed pleased with my latest numbers, but said it was nearly time for me to go for new blood work, and set me up for tests within the next month or so. She gave me a new prescription for cholesterol medication since what I’m taking now only brought me down to 190. I was in the 150’s with my former cholesterol medication! I weigh a LOT more than I should, but I’m not going to tell you how much. And the nurse told me I’m only 5’3” tall! When the hell did I shrink? I thought I was 5’5”!

Mike’s party was fun. I drove there via the Long Island Expressway, getting caught in two traffic jams that necessitated crawling. Mapquest had me making a wrong turn, too. Thus it took me nearly an hour to get there, but I managed to arrive only 10 minutes later than 5 PM. I was proud of myself, but ended up changing my clothes in the car! I nearly got caught by a couple of the guys who arrived at the same time I did, but they passed by my car seconds after I’d hastily wriggled into my black velvet pants.

Gary commented on how quiet I was. When he was in the bathroom, everyone was arguing over who DIDN’T WANT to drive Gary to work during a snowstorm (apparently he’s pussy-fearful of driving himself; Mike was driving him in last week’s snowstorm when they got into an accident). When Gary emerged from the bathroom, I said, “Hey, they’re all arguing over who’s going to pick you up when it snows!”, making it sound like everyone WANTED to be his bad-weather chauffeur. Gary dropped his hands to my shoulders and said, “What about you—do YOU want to do it?” I pointed out that Massapequa Park isn’t really anywhere near Centereach, where he lives. The man is just so weird! But he was very nice to me, offering me soda, hanging up my coat, stuff like that. He was the one who had arranged for us to go to this restaurant, called Treo, which is located on the grounds of the Holbrook Country Club. I had Caesar salad, salmon, fresh mashed potatoes, crunchy veggies and an assortment of desserts, including chocolate covered strawberries—yum!

Marge, Mike’s wife, was there. We hadn’t seen each other in years, and she was so sweet. I was one of the few who got up to make a little speech to Mike, and I had to make mention of the punchline of a joke I told him and John LaF on one of my first days there: “It gives me great pleasure. . .” I talked about Mike’s liver transplant surgery and how I used to try to catch leaves falling from the trees in autumn down by the dead end when I took my walks—if I caught them, he’d be OK. I caught them, so even when it looked like he wasn’t going to make it, I assured him he was going to be OK—and he was. As usual, when someone I know as well as Mike retires, I feel both sad and jealous, and this was no exception!

When I asked how I’d go about getting home via Sunrise Highway instead of the LIE, everyone began speaking at once, but I finally got directions, and managed to speed home more quickly than I’d gotten to Holbrook from Hicksville. I even got in some quality time on the computer, since Dan wasn’t home from his date with Mike yet.

Speaking of dates, I’m seeing Sharon tonight. It’s going to be short, because Marty’s coming to do our taxes. I think, now that we’re done paying off the house, we’re going to need new ways to shelter our money.

As it is, we’re caught in the new mire of paying our own home, school and village taxes. So far, without realizing why, we’ve incurred 112 dollars in penalty fees! Ain’t post-mortgage life grand? Shit!

Speaking of Sharon, do you know what she caught her husband doing? He pulled off the top of their shower head so he could stick the hose up his ass for sexual pleasure—and it makes him shit in the bathtub! Sharon was going crazy trying to figure out why the bathtub was smelling like poop, and now she knows! She fastened the shower head more tightly onto the hose, and when Tom asked one of his sons to bring him pliers, Sharon ordered her son NOT to—and her husband NOT to do that disgusting thing anymore! Her husband, however, insists he didn’t do that! Poor Sharon is scrubbing the bathtub and going out of her mind wondering what else her addled husband is going to claim he isn’t doing!

Tuesday, I went to see Tracey, as usual, but the office front door was locked and there were no cars at all in the parking lot. I waited until 3:25 to see if Tracey showed up, trying to recall if she had told me we wouldn’t be meeting that day, but couldn’t remember. I was just as glad to go home to my computer and work on the dean_sam Live Journal.

Dan’s been very happy at work, doing the Customer Service thing. He has stories of nasty people, but he said he loves getting up and going to work in the morning. I wish I felt the same way! Yesterday, I was so very tired, I worked a straight six hours, went home, let out the dogs, went to sleep and napped until 3:15! I could simply not keep my eyes open! With no SUPERNATURAL on the CW, I watched an ep on DVD instead. I love it with no commercials! They’re bringing reruns of the show back April 4 and new eps back April 24, Brad’s birthday! Cool, huh?

Hope all is well with you and yours, my friends!

Love, Robin